Sting's son has joined the Police.
Now I know what you’re thinking you bunch of cynics - another talentless rock star’s spawn gets a leg up to daddy’s band. But you’d be wrong.
This puntastic Upsetter exclusive is not about a new member joining the eighties super group behind soft rock radio anthem Roxanne.
Sting’s son has actually joined the police - the rozzers, the cozzers - and can now put on the blue light and nick the ageing prostitute, if she’s still on the game after all these years, which all of us at The Upsetter hope is not the case.
Not only that, junior has gone large and joined the ranks of the biggest force in the UK, the Metropolitan police, ladies and gentleman, at a time when its reputation, to use cop vernacular, is lower than whale shit and its culture so toxic that poor Sting will need extra macrobiotics when his son visits the organic farm.
De do do do, de da da da.