The Upsetter

The Upsetter

ROYAL GAG

Top Royal Cop Tries To Silence Ex-Palace Bobby Over Andrew Sex Claims

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The Upsetter
Dec 15, 2025
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This weekend the Metropolitan police decided there would be no criminal investigation into whether the artist formerly known as prince had asked his royal protection officer to dig dirt on the woman accusing him of rape.

The Met’s no doubt thorough search for evidence started last October when The Mail on Sunday published an email from February 2011 in which the then Prince Andrew suggested he had passed Virginia Guiffre’s date of birth and social security number to his bodyguard for an ‘investigation.’

The email exchange with a senior royal press officer took place just hours before the newspaper published the infamous photo of Andrew with his arm around Guiffre’s teenage waist at the London home of Ghislaine Maxwell, the now convicted pimp for Jeffrey Epstein, who died awaiting trial.

The Met’s statement on Saturday saying its “assessment has not revealed any additional evidence of criminal acts or misconduct” landed badly with the family of Guiffre, who took her life earlier this year. They say a Met detective was only asking them on Friday for any evidence and gave no indication Andrew would not face an investigation in the UK.

US-based lawyers for Epstein’s victims have condemned the Met’s decision as “cowardly” and a further example of bending the knee to the royal family - the biggest firm in London.

Readers of this newsletter are no stranger to the weird and wonderful world of Royalty Protection, a Met unit with deep masonic links and an observance to doing whatever the Firm wants, including turning blind eyes to the tantrums and tiaras of its members and hangers-on, even if they verged on the downright criminal.

One Royal cop who found it impossible to do that of course was Paul Page, who described policing Buckingham Palace when Andrew lived there in the late nineties to early noughties as akin to a gun-toting bouncer letting in off the books crumpet.

The Met, palace and prosecutors had tried to stop this reporter and Page from airing what we knew about the Andrew-Maxwell axis back in 2008-9. The royal cop was on trial for running a multi-million pound fraud at Buckingham Palace.

Page emerged from prison as punchy as ever. Only by this time, the Epstein scandal had enveloped Andrew and Maxwell, and the disgraced royal cop found himself in demand as the only one with the chops to continue to speak out about policing the royal family.

The Upsetter recently retold Page’s fall from grace in a podcast, For Queen & Currency based on this reporter’s 2015 book.

It seems the podcast and other comments by Page have touched a “raw nerve” with the Met - who now are trying to gag him, while claiming to have the necessary integrity and independence to investigate the Firm without fear or favour.

For the full story behind this latest development in the Epstein saga, non-subscribers are cordially invited to bend the knee here.

Andrew

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